April Fools!!!

Hi everyone, it’s been quite a while, but I’d just like to say that on behalf of all the devs, we’re all still alive. There hasn’t been much if any progress on the game since the last time we wrote one of these – juggling full time education in person with this large project has been a lot more difficult than any of us expected when we first set out, but we appreciate all your patience!

Now onto the crux of the matter. A year ago, we sent an update blog posting future notes and rule changes that would enable us to set a vision for the game. However, due to unfortunate timing it was perceived as an April fool’s joke by not only our small but growing community, but also my colleagues, and I’ve been personally distraught that it never got a proper chance to work out. For reference here’s a link to the original post if anyone’s interested (i’ve included all the points in this message anyways): ⁠blog-forensic-friday⁠

Now, it seems only right after more than 1 year to produce a feedback report on each point, highlight places where we could achieve better, and if there’s anything else that could possibly be added. I hope that this time, the fact it isn’t on April fool’s will show my utmost sincerity on this topic.

  1. First, but by no means last, is the first bullet point.

    Feedback: Now, this was one of the few successes from last years post. It has always prevailed even when others doubted, it has shown its steel in resolute and most importantly, it’s commitment to fact. I’d like to take the time in this report to thank bullet point number 1 for its duty of service.

  2. To make the game easier to launch, when downloaded it’ll run at startup every time you start your computer. This feature will have a toggle in settings, but that won’t stop it starting without your permission.

    Feedback: This point always had the problem that the game couldn’t launch since it was still in development, and not an application. After a year of thinking, this is still a useful feature, and it will be added to the list of future details that need adding.

  3. We will organise a venue for people to fight irl for their anomaly ideas to be put forward, or to stop other people’s ideas coming to fruition.

    Feedback: This proved very popular with members of the community and remains one of the many failures from last years manifesto to never have a proper follow through. It was in theory a great idea, using survival of the fittest to create strong ideas that could last. However, organising a venue for people to fight requires speaking to other people to book a place, and that was an unacceptable trade off, hence the cancellation.

  4. The first mouse came out in 1964, but as we are now in the 203rd decade, we have decided to drop all mouse support for the game. Instead you will have to use voice commands for all actions, with the trigger being “what do you mean you’re only 16”. We hope this trigger will stop people from playing this game when other people are around, so that you can talk with them!

    Feedback: Again, another problem plagued by the fact we’re still in development. As part of our anti-mouse campaign, we threw out all our current mice which meant we could no longer actually launch the game or move around the development area without using keyboard shortcuts. A bit of an oversight but everyone makes mistakes… We’re just a bit ahead of our time on this one.

  5. All sentences in the discord must start with CONTAINCORP MESSAGE ALERT from hence forwards.

    Feedback: This one got a bit boring after having to do it until the 8th bullet point. It was also interesting to note that no one needed to use a sentence starting with CONTAINCORP MESSAGE ALERT for almost the entire year.

  6. CONTAINCORP MESSAGE ALERT to make the game as basic as possible you won’t have to do anything at all but watch your screen as the game plays for you!

    Feedback: Well, this point seems to have aged like fine wine. As my good colleague Nick said, we’re now using “state of the art machine learning algorithms to improve gameplay” (completely true) and this should be an easy enough logical next step.

  7. CONTAINCORP MESSAGE ALERT we will limit the fps on all laptops to 1 fps to help save battery life whilst playing. If you are on a desktop then we will ask you kindly to unplug your monitor periodically whilst in game to help save electricity.

    Feedback: At the time this idea seemed genius. Not only were we helping people lower their electricity bills, we would also lower our minimum requirement for the game to a literal potato with wires sticking out of it. However, we only realised after implementing in development that it made everything look a tiny bit choppy, so we had to axe this idea, we hope you all understand.

  8. CONTAINCORP MESSAGE ALERT All sentences from now on won’t start with CONTAINCORP MESSAGE ALERT unless you need to start with CONTAINCORP MESSAGE ALERT but that’s on you, not me.

    Feedback: Does more need saying?

  9. We will be making a new discord server for every member where you can invite people to join and get them to create a new server as well (not a pyramid scheme as if it’s one person to one other person invited then it’s really a line scheme, not a pyramid).

    Feedback: Again, another idea that hasn’t come into fruition. It was just pointless and whilst that’s never stopped me before, there must be a line.

  10. We’ve decreased the animation speeds in game so if you press a button, it should take about 5 minutes to open a menu. We hope this will make speed running the game a lot more calculated.

    Feedback: Again! Another problem with being in development. Testing anything took multiple hours so this may have to be a small quality of life update in the future.

  11. There is a small chance the in-game NPCs can become self-aware but we hope to patch that soon.

    Feedback: While patching this bug, it really made me realise, why would you “patch” a bug. A word computer “bug” comes from a long time ago when an actual bug got stuck in a computer causing an error, but how does one actually patch a bug? What even does the word patch mean I hear you ask? Well according to the oxford dictionary, the verb patch means to “mend or strengthen (fabric or clothing)”. However, this has nothing to do with bugs, why would I mend the bugs and not just eradicate them???? I was completely and utterly overcome with anger, and so to this day I’m never “patching” a bug ever again.

  12. @oli can finally have a shoutout because why not.

    Feedback: Does anyone even remember this dude lmao (sorry oli for the ping)

  13. All patreon members will be able to do a Thanos snap and remove half of all messages ever sent but will be liable to deleting them manually.

    Feedback: This was meant to be a way of interacting with our potential future audience. However, we realised that if they removed this exact message, would it actually hold any weight anymore? And if it didn’t then would they have to reinstate messages they had deleted? Too many questions… too many factors to take in. Therefore, this idea was terminated.

  14. When creating an account on our website we now ask for your National Insurance number if you are in the UK, so that we can pay your taxes for you. Definitely not illegal as far as our R&D team know.

    Feedback: For legal reasons, my lawyers told me to say this was a joke.

  15. We now have an R&D team who are trying to find our anomalies in real life right now.

    Feedback: They all died, all of them, rip.

  16. The last, but not the first bullet point.

    Feedback: Just like the first point, the only other real success story to come from this manifesto. At least it had the same willpower as its first point brother. So that’s my constructive feedback on last years notes. If there’s any points you liked/disliked then let me know or any ideas in general. Until the next one everyone, keep safe, and try and be like bullet point number 1.

The Team,
Plasmarc Studios